A Challenge of Grief – “The Devil in Everything”
Grief wrestled for center stage during the last half year of my father’s life. We often heard the query, “Is the devil in everything?” Beset by physical pain run rampant in a hard-used body, emotional pain of missing Mom, and winter weather compounding the misery of both, few things went right. His search for foothold, in wait for spring and brighter days, delivered slow-paced solace, fleeting when found.
Those months represented a hard season of life. My siblings and I joined resources to journey alongside the man who cooperated with His creator to give us life. We mourned our mother as he mourned the love of his life, making farewells in so many ways. We searched for opportunities to assuage his pain.
Looking back in happy recall of good times, we counted blessings of earlier days. Looking ahead we proposed ideas for swathing paths of possibility for going on. In his last weeks, we clung to assurance of hospice workers that dawn of future days would bring consideration of our final days together as gift.
God in Everything Too
Difficult to grasp through hazier moments of pain was another, more important truth. My brother and sisters, each in his or her own way, demonstrated strong belief in God. We used different words, expressed different tenets, and experienced consolations unique to our life experiences, but through it all, found commonality and courage to support Dad and each other.
After Mom passed away, several of my blog posts (here, here, and here) contained reflection on new emotions influencing my thinking. I believe that Mom, to the extent she experienced all of these passing months in spirit, is pleased.
And because we all move forward more in hope than regret, we hold confidence that God is Love. The two great commandments – love God with your whole heart, soul and mind, and your neighbor as yourself – describe Mom & Dad’s lived witness.
We greet each day desiring to do the same.
I did not think I’d track, so swiftly,
back to place where resolution lies,
waylaid, dust-gathered. In trust of
all you meant to me, firm purpose
of amendment means to change (or
rearrange) priorities to live full well.
To tell a tale of ‘might-have-been’,
when possibilities abound – all ’round,
stands tantamount to treasure, lost
for want of cost, poor-figured as too
dear to pay in moments, ticked away.
I’ll hold then, near to heart, a start,
repeated and repeating until once,
nostalgic leaning glows from gleaning
of your legacy, full-realized; a wondrous
bit of betterment, enabled by the
joining of your wisdom with His will.
I’ve missed you, rhyme-loving friends! These months away from blogging, though filled with weighty measure, leave me renewed with anticipation of days to come. Please leave a comment below on happenings in your life – perhaps a sharing of actions or ideas that helped you move forward after grief. Let’s learn from each other!
Happy Rhyming, Friends!